ShmoopTube

00:04

Poseidon “AKA Neptune,” a la Shmoop.

00:09

It's a lot of pressure being a Greek god,

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especially if you're in charge of an element that covers over 70 percent of the earth.

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Some people say that I'm a grouch. You know what I say to that?

00:18

Bam! Earthquake!  

00:21

Okay, okay, I admit that I have a bit of a temper.

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But did YOUR dad eat you, and then barf you back up again?

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Yeah. I didn't think so...

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And I'm always coming in second fiddle to my perfect brother, Zeus.

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Just because he's the only one of us who escaped dad's little snack attacks,

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the guy thinks he's king of the gods or something like that...

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Zeus is going to tell you it’s all fair and square, because we drew straws to pick kingdoms.

00:47

But of course, he managed to get the best deal…control of the heavens!

00:51

Poor Hades got the underworld... man, better him than me…

00:56

And what did I get? A kingdom full of fish, pee, and trash.

01:00

Thanks a lot, litterbugs…

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Well, on the other hand, I do have a neato pointy trident...

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…and I can use the ocean as my mood ring.

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In the rare event that I'm in a good mood, I might summon islands with my mighty trident.

01:16

I think Hawaii is probably my fave.

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When I'm not out riding in my awesome chariot,

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or training attack sharks...

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…I'm usually busy populating the world with illegitimate children.

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I even had a fling with Medusa.

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Don't judge me, she had normal hair when we met.

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Not that it would have made a difference.

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Now her sister with the spider hair…that's another story...

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Sure, technically I’m married, but Amphitrite <Am-fuh-TRY-tee> seems to be okay with things

01:44

Right, sweetie?

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None of my kids are as famous as Zeus' little hotshots,

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but Triton did get to be a movie star...

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Truth be told, I don't really care for most of my relatives.

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My niece, Athena, for example.

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She thinks she's so great because she popped out of Zeus' head.

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Man, I wish I could take an Advil and make her disappear. …

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The people of Athens actually picked the little brat as their god instead of me,

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because she gave them an olive tree.

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Now they can make oil and Greek salads. Big whoop.

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I gave them an awesome pool of saltwater, full of salt! And water!

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Sure, you can't drink it, but it's perfect for gargling!

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To teach them a lesson, I took away Athens’ fresh water supply.

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Enjoy your nice cold glass of olive bark!

02:37

Another reason Athena and I don't get along... she constantly overreacts.

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Like when Medusa and I were having a little "alone time" in Athena's temple.

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I guess there must've been a security camera or something,

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because she found out, and gave Medusa her slithering hair extensions.

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She also helped Perseus <Pur-zee-us> chop her head off.

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Kinda harsh, don't you think? Some goddess of wisdom.

03:02

More like goddess of cold, hard revenge.

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You know who else I really hate? Odysseus <Oh-DIS-ee-us>.

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He poked out the eye of my son, Polyphemus <Polly-FEE-mus> , which is

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a pretty big deal if you're a cyclops…

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So I had a bit of fun dissing Odysseus, and got him lost on the sea for about 20 years.

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He deserved it...do you know how many seeing eye dogs I go through with Polyphemus? …

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And then Odysseus comes back a hero, and Homer writes a glowing epic about him.

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Where is little Polly's poem? All right, that’s enough jibber jabber.

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Duty calls.

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Take care of your oceans, kids! Or else…

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