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Playlist PSAT® Writing 32 videos

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Wall Street's Recklessness
291 Views

PSAT 1.10 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?

1
Writing Narrative Walkthrough
220 Views

PSAT 1.11 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?

2
Semicolon, Colon, Dashes or No Change?
174 Views

PSAT 1.12 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?

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Gemini IV: Learning to Walk in Space 186 Views


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Description:

PSAT 1.8 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:00

Thank you We sneak And here's your shmoop du jour

00:05

brought to you by spacewalks not to be confused with

00:09

space runs which are well something totally new All right

00:13

check out this Basset gemini for luna Walked in space

00:16

with living in one Gus grissom Hey gus And exuberant

00:19

Great Tremendous All right how would you change the underlined

00:23

portion below if it all this thing right at the

00:25

end of his space walk also called extra vehicular activity

00:29

or e v a which had lasted for twenty minutes

00:33

All right here Potential answers All right Okay All right

00:36

Well we wonder if mr white was as excited after

00:39

completing his space walk as michael jackson was every time

00:42

he finished doing the moonwalk That's one happy pop star

00:46

All right well what's the dealio here We're told to

00:49

check out a portion of the passage and see if

00:51

there's any clearer and more concise way toe word things

00:55

let's Hope so Because at the end of a spacewalk

00:58

also called extra vehicular activity or eva which had lasted

01:01

twenty minutes is an absolute mouthful We know these guys

01:05

are in the habit of recording every little detail of

01:07

their missions But this is way tio am i This

01:10

is neither the time nor place to get into other

01:12

names for a spacewalk or what acronyms stand for We

01:15

just want to know when he was exuberant We don't

01:18

need his whole life story What about just changing it

01:21

toe Finally like option b thinks we should do well

01:24

it's definitely more concise but we're losing a lot of

01:27

clarity here Finally what At the end of time the

01:30

word just doesn't quite communicate that it was white's spacewalk

01:33

that had him all giddy So let's keep looking Should

01:36

we change it To see at the end of his

01:38

twenty minutes spacewalk also called extra vehicular activity or e

01:42

v a well deja vu This one is slightly different

01:46

from option a it's been re ordered a bit but

01:48

it's basically the same thing and still far too much

01:51

info So sadly it's not going to be us and

01:54

option c forever Well d on the other hand totally

01:57

hits the mark after his twenty minutes bayswater boom it

02:01

short and sweet and doesn't let any other nonsense get

02:03

in the way Uh that one wasn't too bad In

02:06

fact it was kind Of a space walk in the 00:02:08.318 --> [endTime] park Frank

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