The Remains of the Day Theme of Friendship

What lays the foundation for an ideal friendship? Being in elementary school together? Growing up on the same block? Meeting in a fraternity? Whatever it is, it's definitely not working together, right?

Wrong—at least in this novel. Weirdly, the strongest friendships in the world of The Remains of the Day tend to be the kind developed by working together in a professional capacity—butlers and their employers, butlers and butlers, butlers and housekeepers. There is a sense that working together establishes a kind of mutual respect that just ain't possible elsewhere.

Translating this mutual respect from work life to personal life is pretty tricky (Stevens is terrible at socializing outside the workplace), but the novel does suggest that it is absolutely necessary for a better world.

Questions About Friendship

  1. Take a look at the occasions where Stevens interacts directly with Lord Darlington in conversation, and consider his behavior after Lord Darlington's death. How would you describe their relationship? Are they friends?
  2. Take a look at the occasions where Stevens interacts with Miss Kenton. Describe a few moments when they seem to get along, then compare these to other moments when they don't. In what circumstances do they get along well? What creates tension between them?
  3. Take a look at other relationships in Stevens's life, particularly his relationship with his father, Mr. Graham, and Mr. Cardinal. How are these relationships similar to or different from his relationship with Lord Darlington? With Miss Kenton?

Chew on This

Try on an opinion or two, start a debate, or play the devil’s advocate.

In The Remains of the Day, friendship is valued over all other relationships because it is based on mutual respect.

In The Remains of the Day, the strongest friendships develop between professionals, but an excessive focus on professionalism can also prove harmful to friendships.