Story of the Unfortunate Man, From Which May Be Gathered Whether or No He Has Been Justly So Entitled
- The narrator tells the story he claims to be able to better relate than Mr. Roberts can. He describes Goneril, the wife of the "unfortunate man" (it's safe to presume that this is Weeds). Heads up: this description is m-e-a-n.
- At first, Goneril's biggest flaws seem to be that she prefers lemons to peaches. She's clearly a monster.
- Goneril's apparently also cold, heartless, scary, and touchy with other men. Not touchy, as in easily irritated, but touchy as in she gently grazes guys' arms, shoulders, hands, etc. Major creep vibe, plus it makes her husband uneasy.
- Goneril's husband Weeds doesn't make a fuss, because he's sort of super terrified of her.
- Real problem #1: Goneril starts to get jealous of Weeds and his attention.
- Real problem #2: This jealousy extends to their daughter.
- Real problem #3: Weeds catches Goneril "tormenting" their daughter (we're not let in on what this entails).
- The unfortunate Weeds takes his daughter and leaves his wife. The townswomen who weren't really keen on Goneril before cry out against this move.
- Pulling no punches, Goneril takes her hubby to court. Weeds reveals everything about Goneril and her weird ways, but she ultimately gets the daughter back and tries to get Weeds committed to an asylum. This is some soap-opera level drama-rama.
- Weeds is now ostracized. He spends his days travelling around with a weed in his cap to remember Goneril, who has apparently died (yeah, we have no idea how).
- Now Weeds is just trying to get his daughter back. Too bad he's broke.