In Which the Cosmopolitan Tells the Story of the Gentleman Madman
- Charlemont was young. He was French. He was well-off. He was cool.
- Everybody loved Charlemont, and Charlemont loved everybody.
- Then one day something happened.
- Nobody knows what happened, but all of a sudden, out of the blue, without warning, Charlemont…stopped…loving…people. Oh, no.
- Charlemont ditched all his casual friends, and he straight-up burned all his bridges with his good friends.
- Charlemont disappeared.
- Some said Charlemont went into debt.
- Then, just as randomly as before, Charlemont was back.
- Charlemont made up with everybody and bought them gifts, and they all loved him again. No one ever asked what happened when he went all emo.
- Until…
- One day…
- When…
- The last guest at one of Charlemont's parties worked up the nerve, after drinking a lot of wine, to ask: What's your damage, Heather?
- Charlemont got quiet. He called for more wine but gave a mystifying response basically amounting to: You wouldn't get it. You weren't there.
- Charlemont's guest then just left, knowing that even if his outside was happy, Charlemont still had some dark stuff going on inside.