An Old Miser, Upon Suitable Representations, is Prevailed Upon to Venture an Investment
- After Mr. Roberts leaves, Tassel thinks back over their conversation. He figures that even if Mr. Roberts was his intellectual inferior, Tassel might as well try to glean something useful from him to increase his own virtue and build up his character—you know—be the best Tassel he can be.
- Suddenly remembering something Mr. Roberts said, Tassel runs to the poor quarters on board the ship; he recalls the miser on his deathbed. We're afraid this isn't going to end well.
- Tassel finds the miser coughing and begging for water.
- The miser thanks Tassel for getting him a drink. Tassel promptly asks him if he has confidence in him.
- Miser: Sure.
- Tassel: Give me $100.
- Miser: What? No way, you scoundrel. (Here he coughs uncontrollably.)
- Tassel first offers to call for the herb-doctor to administer some Omni-Balsamic Reinvigorator. What? Then he guilts the miser—yes, guilts him—into giving him money by saying he could get a triple return on his investment.
- Miser: Investment, you say?
- Tassel: Yeah, I do everything for you, babe.
- The miser is uncertain. Tassel does the I'm walking away because I don't need your suspicious money thing.
- Miser calls Tassel back and gives him the $100.
- Tassel is cold. He scoffs at this meek offer of confidence in him and walks away with the money.
- The miser calls Tassel back asking for a receipt. He calls and coughs over and over. No one hears him.