How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #4
To begin with, I was afraid. I was afraid of getting caught, afraid my treachery glowed like a corona around me. Then, when I did not get caught, I grew to love the fear. It sang in me like wires. (9.86)
Notice how Gabriel's fear shifts over time: At first, he's scared of getting in trouble, but before long, he relishes the fear. Call it Finnigan's influence, or his inner mean kid coming out—either way, Gabriel becomes an adrenaline junkie.
Quote #5
Evening always finds me at my illest, most ill: Sarah writes on my chart that I'm fretful. And why shouldn't I be? It is not nice to die. (11.1)
We might expect Gabriel to be agitated when he's not feeling well. But fretful? That's more about being anxious and fearful. At this point, it doesn't make much sense to us, but later on we understand that he's afraid Finnigan might rear his ugly head again, and he's not sure what he'll do if Finnigan shows up.
Quote #6
The first few days after he'd jumped the fence and gone, I'd kept an eye out for Finnigan. He had departed in such a rage that part of me feared I would never see him again—and part of me feared I most certainly would. (17.14)
Whenever Finnigan disappears, it's nerve-racking, because Gabriel is never certain when he'll show up again. When we understand that Gabriel is talking about his evil side coming to the surface, though, we understand that he is so not in control of it that he can't even predict when it will appear again.