How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
I am dying: it's a beautiful word. Like the long slow sigh of a cello: dying. But the sound of it is the only beautiful thing about it. (1.1)
We're not sure the first thing that comes to mind when we hear the word dying is beautiful, but we do understand the distinction Gabriel makes here. It might be that the word sounds like something desirable, but the act definitely is not. Still, he's the one who forces himself into this position.
Quote #2
He knows it, and in his muffled smile I see my future. Still, part of me is proud to be dying such a tricky death. (5.56)
When the doc doesn't know how to help Gabriel, he likes it. This is a big hint to us that Gabriel isn't diagnosed with a run-of-the-mill cancer or knowable disease, plus we get the sense that he's not all that upset about going.
Quote #3
I dared not call my mother. I sagged on the floor, paralyzed. I did not want to stay, yet I didn't dare to leave. I sensed that he was dead, but wasn't sure if death was forever. It seemed best to stay nearby, in case the chance came to make everything changed. (7.102)
As Gabriel finds Vernon—dead—he's flooded with a combination of emotions: fear, sorrow, happiness, guilt, you name it. What's more? He's not even certain what death means at this point, and he admits here that he's not sure if death lasts forever.