Sprint total time 1.5–2 hours

You're kidding, right? You're not going pro. You might as well compete on a unicycle, because it's not like you're going to go any slower.

Sprint total time 1–1.5 hours

You're still not going pro, but hopefully no one will laugh at you. If they do, you can still out-run, out-swim, and out-bike them.

Sprint total time 50 minutes to 1 hour

So close and yet so far. Actually, not even that close. Sorry, but while you're going to be dominating volunteer races, fun runs, and potato sackings, you're not cut out for the pro life.

Sprint total time 45–50 minutes

You are a triathlon machine. You might participate in a race or two, especially if they're for charity, but don't expect to make anything close to a living.

Sprint total time 40–45 minutes

You just might make it as a pro. Of course, this is triathlon, and most pros work a full-time job as well. So if you want two jobs and you're the best in the world at triathlons, then you might have a chance. Maybe. If you get extremely lucky.

Ever hear the phrase, "one in a million"? Well, you'll need to be exactly that if you want to go pro. Think about the best high school athlete in your district of 10 high schools. The absolute Big Man in the area. He gets headhunted so hard by colleges that he can barely spare time for his school work, let alone friends. Then, he gets into college and is a total all star there...of the 12 best all stars on his team that year. Well, guess, what? Only one of those guys will be a pro in five years...if this is a top class of athletes out of the the past several years.

So, even if you're in the 95th percentile of all NCAA athletes in your sport, you've still got a snowball's chance in a microwave of going pro. Not to mention actually mattering at all. More than likely, you'll still be struggling to eke out a living on the bench for a year or stuck on a farm team until you're forced to look for other work. We could bludgeon you with more data and stats, but as you dream about success, just make sure you're hedging your bets.

In other words: enjoy that "alternative" career, Shmooper. (#realtalk)