Sideways Stories From Wayside School Appearances Quotes

How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)

Quote #1

Mrs. Jewls looked at the children. They were horribly cute. In fact, they were much too cute to be children.

"I don't believe it," said Mrs. Jewls. "It's a room full of monkeys!"

The children looked at each other. They didn't see any monkeys. (2.5-7)

Here's an example of how Sachar uses appearances for comedy's sake—mistaking a room full of children for a room full of monkeys is hilarious, as is the idea that the kids must be monkeys because real kids couldn't be that cute.

Quote #2

With two eyes she was pretty. With four eyes she was beautiful. With six eyes she would have been even more beautiful. And if she had a hundred eyes, all over her face and her arms and her feet, why, she would have been the most beautiful creature in the world. (11.1)

A very sweet description for Dana, isn't it? Especially sweet because sometimes kids are self-conscious about their glasses, but in this case Dana's glasses magnify her beauty.

Quote #3

Rondi was missing her two front teeth. And those were the most beautiful teeth of all. (13.1)

Poor Rondi is constantly driven to distraction because of her missing teeth, but they're her defining characteristic. In fact, when all the kids try to swap names and forget who everyone is, they figure Rondi out first because of the trademark gap in her smile.