Sideways Stories From Wayside School Quotes

It has been said that these stories are strange and silly. That is probably true. (I.6)

They were quite a pair. Their teamwork was remarkable. Bebe drew pictures as fast as Calvin could pick up the old paper and set down the new—a fish, an apple, three cherries, bing, bing, bing. (6...

Mrs. Jewls looked at the children. They were horribly cute. In fact, they were much too cute to be children. "I don't believe it," said Mrs. Jewls. "It's a room full of monkeys!" The children looke...

The children didn't know what to do. They didn't have a teacher. Even though Mrs. Gorf was mean, they didn't think it was right to leave her as an apple. But none of them knew how to wiggle their e...

If you children are bad," she warned, "or if you answer a problem wrong, I'll wiggle my ears, stick out my tongue, and turn you into apples! (1.2)

"School just speeds things up," said Mrs. Jewls. "Without school, it might take another seventy years before you wake up and are able to count." (2.59)

"Oh, I've made a big mistake, Maurecia. Of course you can't taste anything. It's Maurecia-flavored ice cream. It's the same taste you always taste when you're not tasting anything at all." (9.21)

When Joe woke up the next day, he had learned how to count. He had fifty-five thousand and six hairs on his head. They were all curly. (2.62)