Maurecia
- Here's what we need to remember about Maurecia: She's sweet, pretty, well-liked, and can beat up any boy in the class. Everyone likes her, except for Kathy, but Maurecia doesn't like anyone—she only likes ice cream.
- You'll have to suspend reality here, but every day Maurecia brings an ice cream cone for lunch and keeps it in her desk. She brings dozens of flavors to school, but eventually tires of them all. She ends up with a sticky desk and an unhappy situation.
- Maurecia complains to Mrs. Jewls that "there just aren't any good flavors anymore" (9.5).
- Mrs. Jewls works all night to make a new invention: Maurecia-flavored ice cream. She decides that this is a no-miss strategy, "because everybody likes Maurecia" (9.5). It does not occur to her that this is the grossest idea ever, but um… we think it is.
- When Maurecia tries the new flavor, she can't taste it at all, but when the rest of the class tries Maurecia-flavored ice cream, they all think it's delicious. Except for Kathy, of course.
- Mrs. Jewls realizes her mistake: Maurecia can't taste the ice cream because it's what Maurecia tastes when "she's not tasting anything at all" (9.21).
- Next Mrs. Jewls makes Joe-flavored ice cream and brings it to class. Everyone likes it except Joe, who thinks it has no taste. Strangely, Maurecia now likes Joe-flavored ice cream—and Joe himself. The same thing happens with Ron the next day.
- Mrs. Jewls brings in a flavor for each of the twenty-seven kids in class. Everyone likes all the flavors, except Kathy flavor, which "tasted a little bit like old bologna" (9.27).
- The final verdict from the class is that Maurecia ice cream is still the best. Maurecia, however, likes Todd ice cream best, which is a little bit of a problem: "Every once in a while Maurecia would try to take a bite out of Todd's arm in order to get that very special flavor" (9.29).