Cut from the team as a senior 

You remember that one night when you went a little too hard at a party, broke into the school pool, and defaced the whole thing? Yeah, we didn't think so. Regardless, that little stunt got you cut from the team. You were great, once. But oh, how far you have fallen.

2nd team All-Conference 

Great job making All-Conference. Unfortunately, you play D-III ball where the stakes are much lower. You had a wonderful career and received a terrific education. But you know that Marco Polo is more likely to be your future game of choice.

2nd team All-Conference 

Fortunately for you, 2nd team All-Conference carries quite a bit of weight at the Division-I level. But if you're serious about trying to play professionally, you're going to have to move to Eastern Europe. How's your Serbian these days?

1st team All-Conference 

You're a beast in the water. Like an elephant seal. Or a Thalassomedon. But if you don't want to go extinct at the next level of competition, you're going to have to train harder than you ever have before. And you better start learning some foreign languages.

All-American, 1st team All-Conference 

You're on the short list for the National Team, which is like the water polo equivalent of making the Super Bowl. Or the World Series. Or appearing in any segment, at any time, on any ESPN network. Maybe you can finally be the one to make the masses care about water polo. Or make the swimsuit edition of a sporting magazine. Sigh. That's almost like recognition for your athletic accomplishments...

Ever hear the phrase, "one in a million"? Well, you'll need to be exactly that if you want to go pro. Think about the best high school athlete in your district of 10 high schools. The absolute Big Man in the area. He gets headhunted so hard by colleges that he can barely spare time for his school work, let alone friends. Then, he gets into college and is a total all star there...of the 12 best all stars on his team that year. Well, guess, what? Only one of those guys will be a pro in five years...if this is a top class of athletes out of the the past several years. 

So, even if you're in the 95th percentile of all NCAA athletes in your sport, you've still got a snowball's chance in a microwave of going pro. Not to mention actually mattering at all. More than likely, you'll still be struggling to eke out a living on the bench for a year or stuck on a farm team until you're forced to look for other work. We could bludgeon you with more data and stats, but as you dream about success, just make sure you're hedging your bets.

In other words: enjoy that "alternative" career, Shmooper. (#realtalk)