Crash Steaminess Rating

Exactly how steamy is this story?

G

Ladies, meet Crash Coogan, who is, in his own words, "the answer to your dreams" (23.16). His big pickup line is "I guess you could wear women's sizes, huh?" (23.8) How hot is that?

Ladies?

Okay, so maybe Crash has a lot to learn about women. Which is fair enough because he's just in seventh grade. He's starting to notice girls, but that's it. And let's face it, with lines like that, he might not ever see any action.