Crash Characters

Crash is the name. Football's the game. And it's been that way since Crash was a tiny tot known as John, when his uncle gave him his nickname. "As far as I can tell, I've always been crashing—int...

Young Penn, despite being the sweetest soul on earth, is Crash's sworn enemy. At least, in Crash's book. Penn doesn't have enemies because he's relentlessly cheerful. The late-in-life son of his pa...

Crash's grandpa Scooter is the glue that holds the Coogan family together. Having just recently moved in with his family permanently, Scooter is in charge of making elaborate dinners and cheering o...

Crash's little sister has always loved nature, worms and all. Even at 4 years old, she loved nothing more than playing with bugs in the family garden. Now 11, Abby is a budding environmentalist. Sh...

Crash's parents are workaholics who never make it to Crash's football games. Crash tells us his dear old dad is "just starting up his own business, and he had to work seventy-hour weeks just to get...

Penn's folks, like Penn, are good-natured and kind. When Crash comes over to their house for dinner, they show the patience of Job as he jumps on all their furniture and insults their family. The W...

Mike is a big, mean meathead who becomes Crash's best friend in seventh grade. Crash may be bad, but Mike is definitely the worst. He even goes so far as to steal Thomas, Penn's pet turtle. Now, th...

Jane is a seventh-grade hottie whom Crash has a little crush on. But Jane is friends with Penn, and she doesn't want anything to do with Crash. In the novel's next-to-last sentence, though, we lear...