Meet the Cast
Rafael "Rafe" Khatchadorian
You all know a few tragic heroes off the top of your head. Hamlet. Macbeth. Oedipus.And…some twelve-year-old named Rafe? Are we playing Sesame Street's favorite game: "One of these things is not...
Leonardo "Leo" the Silent
If we were Leonardo the Silent we'd draw you picture instead of writing you a character analysis. But let's just say our artistic skills don't usually get us high points in Pictionary…so you get...
Jeanne Galletta
Practically Perfect in Every WayWe first meet Jeanne when Rafe does. She's giving her student council speech about listening…but Rafe's definitely not 100% listening. He's too busy daydreaming ab...
Jules Khatchadorian
100% fact: Jules Khatchadorian is a great mom. She loves her kids a ton and she does her best to support and help them. She even smells like apples and cinnamon.It's telling that Rafe doesn't trust...
Carl "Bear"
You've heard of wicked stepmothers: the ones that are always up to no good, poisoning apples, refusing to let you go to the ball, and leaving kids to be eaten by witches that live in gingerbread ho...
Miller "the Killer"
Right off the bat, Rafe knows that Miller is going to be bad news. You don't get a nickname like "Miller the Killer" because you like to cuddle fluffy bunnies in your spare time. You get it because...
Mrs. Donatello
Rafe's English teacher Mrs. Donatello is a real Dragon Lady. This teacher of terror spends the entire book trying to teach Rafe to appreciate great literature, understand himself as an artist, and...
Georgia Khatchadorian
When our story begins, Rafe only has one living sibling—nine-year-old Georgia. Georgia's like most little sisters in the history of humankind, because her big brother thinks she's a "super-nosy,...
Mrs. Stricker
Mrs. Ida Stricker is the vice principal, which means she's "pretty much in charge of every breath anybody takes at HVMS" (1.10). Rafe sees her as Sergeant Stricker, the super-tough cop questioning...
Mr. Dwight
Mr. Dwight is the principal of Hills Village Middle School, but Rafe likes to think of him as the Lizard King:The Lizard King reaches over and flattens a hand (or is it a foot?) against my face. Ei...