Character Analysis
When we first meet Jude, it's through Noah's eyes. "She's shiny and funny and normal—not a revolutionary—and talks to everybody," he tells us. (1.98) When we meet her at age 16, she's barely recognizable in what she calls her "invisibility uniform," which includes baggy clothes, short hair, and a skullcap. (2.130) What the heck happened?
The Broken Blob
Her mother's death happened, for one thing. But in a piece of terrible timing, something else happened, too: Jude lost her virginity on the same day. It's not clear whether or not it was rape, but the guy's refrain of "You can say no" doesn't exactly make the case that she gave consent. (2.181) "I didn't know you could get buried in your own silence," Jude says. (2.186) The experience has clearly traumatized her, to say the least.
At art school, Jude thinks of herself as broken and inept. Her idea pad is empty and everything she makes seems to break. She thinks that might be because of the angry ghost of her mother. Jude kinda sorta believes in ghosts, by the way, at least enough to have out-loud conversations with the ghost of her dead grandmother, who's literally her only friend. Yikes.
When Jude meets Oscar, who's basically her insta-soulmate, Jude's sworn off men for the foreseeable future. When she finds herself flirting with him, she's a little alarmed. But when they eventually kiss, she finds herself gravitating back to her old gear—dresses and red lipstick. She seems ready to cast off her hoodies and get back to being Jude.
That doesn't mean you can only be yourself by being super girly, girls. But let's face it, she did not look fly in that skullcap.
Portrait of the Artist
"I know what you're thinking," Jude says when we first "meet" her at age 16. "It's Noah who belongs at this school, not me." (2.14) She has always been an artist, but Noah's always been The Artist in the Family. As a result, she doubts her own ability.
Back in the day, when Noah was proudly showing his mom his sketches, Jude was building sculptures in the sand. These works were temporary, because they washed away with the tide. But everyone in the book who describes them—including Noah, Sandy (a teacher at her art school, ironically named after her favorite kind of sculpture), and Guillermo—says they're totally incredible. She keeps them private because she doesn't feel confident in her work. Boo.
At 16, Jude switches mediums and begins carving in stone—a sign that she's taking herself more seriously and ready to come into her identity as an artist. Working on a statue of her and her brother brings up feelings that Jude's been trying to tamp down for a long time.
Later, in a conversation with Noah about their mother, this leads to release. "I let myself feel the terrible, surrender to it finally instead of…putting up an index of fears and superstitions between me and it, instead of mummifying myself in layers of clothing to protect myself from it…." she says. (8.33)
She can finally let herself be sad out loud. It's kind of a breakthrough.
Mommy Issues
Before Dianna died, Jude fought with her mother all the time. (Jude was jealous of close her relationship with Noah, and Dianna worried that Jude was growing too old too fast.) After the accident, Jude struggles mightily with the knowledge that her mother never saw her talent. "All I wanted was for her to see me, to really see me," she says. "Not to forget me at the museum, like I didn't exist…." (6.95)
The thing is, it turns out her mother did see Jude's sand sculptures. "She love them very much, how carefree and crazy they are," Guillermo tells her. (8.222) This brings Jude great joy. "Mom knew something about the inside of me that I didn't think she did," Jude says. "It's making me feel weightless…." (8.224)
Finally, Jude's no longer a broken blob. She's an artist.
Jude's Timeline