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Thank you We sneak in and here's your shmoop du

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jour Brought to you by graduation Remember to keep your

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gown it's the one outfit you won't outgrow Really Check

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out the falling fast age My plans for the future

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All right Uh george whale or shakespeare Right there When

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i graduate from high school have to becoming a doctor

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is very long And i see myself having i'll find

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writing their people All right maria would like to revise

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sentence thirteen to provide a more effective and sophisticated conclusion

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Which of the following is the best revision And here

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a potential answers and long cross and doctor Okay uh

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well maria has correctly diagnosed that her rough draft of

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sentence thirteen is in need of immediate attention Let's Hope

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it's insured all the kindly people of geek Oh yeah

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that little worm thing And what is that A lizard

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that's Good All right The issue is that the third

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paragraph discusses maria's long term career plans And then the

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final sentence abruptly takes us back to the first step

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in her path to medical glory in order to transition

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back the first step in a way that actually wraps

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up the essay we need to tie maria's ultimate goal

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of being a doctor not just playing it to the

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place where maria is now let's See which one of

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these choices passes the test Well option d fails and

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fails miserably this one's even more abroad than the original

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sentence It's slaps us in the face with high school

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and college without recognizing the entire essay before it Come

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on Hey is an awful but it's kind of wishy

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washy The claws this is all a long process is

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just big and bad writing Come on people And particularly

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you maria that you were looking at Yeah let's keep

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looking All right You don't have to settle for this

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Let's Go Option c does begin by recognizing the rest

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of the essay So good job there but beginning the

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sentence with although it doesn't make any sense Yeah that

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is the best answer It begins by recognizing the long

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track to dr dumb described by the rest of the

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essay and ties the whole joining directly to where maria

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is in the process Now when maria finally gets her

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medical license well we're gonna have to have her take 00:02:18.955 --> [endTime] A look at this rash Not pretty Oh

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