Titus and Gisippus
Intro
- Storyteller: Filomena
- Filomena says that it's easy to be generous if you're a king—not impressive. You're rich anyway, so what, right?
- But if a person's broke and still shows generosity, that's something to praise.
- She intends to tell a story now that will please them much more than Pampinea's since it's about everyday people like themselves (never mind that they're all elite folk).
Story
- Filomena's story takes place in the early days of Octavianus Caesar, before he got rid of the other two guys in the Roman ruling triumvirate and became Emperor Augustus.
- A young man called Titus Quintus Fulvius was sent by his father to Athens, to be schooled under the care of an old friend named Chremes.
- Chremes himself has a son named Gisippus, about Titus' age. He sends the boys off to a philosopher called Aristippus to be educated.
- The boys become great friends and are praised by everyone for their intelligence.
- Then Chremes dies, and both young men are devastated.
- Gisippus' family arranges a marriage for him to Sophronia, a beautiful 15-year-old.
- Before the wedding day, Gisippus asks Titus to visit Sophronia with him. Big mistake.
- Titus, of course, falls in love with Sophronia at first sight.
- He beats himself up about it and tries to remind himself how very wrong it is. But then he remembers her beauty and decides he needs to follow his heart.
- Titus uses his philosophical training to reason out why Gisippus should really be happy that his friend has fallen in love with his girl.
- And then he beats himself up again with guilt. This goes on for days. He eventually falls ill from obsessing about it.
- Gisippus tries to cheer up his suicidal friend and asks him what's going on, but Titus can't bring himself to say.
- Finally, he confesses his passion for Gisippus' bride-to-be.
- No, Gisippus doesn't kill him. Instead, he bursts into tears at his friend's misery.
- In an absolutely rational fashion, Gisippus tells Titus that he can have Sophronia as his wife, because Titus' life is more important to him that having Sophronia.
- Titus is moved by the offer, but also ashamed. He can't take him up on it. No, really.
- Besides, he'll either get over it or he'll die. Either way, his suffering will end.
- Gisippus protests. He really can't have Titus dying on him because this is a serious bromance.
- And besides, he's not really losing Sophronia to Titus. He's really just "transferring" her to his "second self."
- Plus, he loves Sophronia well enough, but he sees that Titus is totally head-over-heels.
- After a long back-and-forth about it, Titus gives in and swears that he'll find a way to pay Gisippus' back for his generosity.
- But there's another problem: how does Gisippus jilt Sophronia in a way that ensures that Titus will get her?
- There's only one thing to do. Gisippus will go through the ceremonies and Titus will sleep with her.
- This way, if her family doesn't like it, they'll just have to deal with it.
- Notice that Sophronia is being totally left out of this equation.
- On the wedding night, Titus and Gisippus have rooms next to each other with a connecting door.
- Gisippus enters the chamber where his bride is waiting, turns out the lights, and goes to get Titus.
- But Titus is having second thoughts and Gisippus practically has to shove him through the door to the bridal chamber.
- Titus gets in bed and asks the lady in a whisper if she wants to be married to him. Duh.
- So he puts a ring on her finger and consummates the marriage.
- But Fortune has a way of screwing things up. Titus gets a message that his father, Publius has died.
- He has to go back home (and take Sophronia with him), so he'll have to man up and tell her the truth.
- She doesn't take it well. She goes back home and tells her Dad, who's not amused.
- Sophronia's relatives complain to the families of both men and especially to Gisippus' family.
- They're at the point of disowning him for his bad behavior, even though he tries to convince them he's behaved honorably.
- Titus hears it all and notes that Athenians are always given to loud complaining about everything and just need to be told to shut up.
- He calls the families of Gisippus and Sophronia together and works his philosophy on them.
- Since the actions of man are preordained by the gods, he says, why are you complaining?
- Clearly, Sophronia was destined by the gods to be Titus' wife.
- Human reason should also teach them to quit complaining about Gisippus' behavior.
- The laws of friendship ruled his actions and therefore he is the noblest of dudes.
- Then Titus convinces the families that he's far more preferable as a husband to Sophronia than their original choice (he's actually quite humble in his phrasing of it).
- He's from an ancient noble Roman family, and everyone knows that Rome is a free city while Athens still pays tribute.
- And besides, he didn't play a trick on Sophronia to degrade her. He did it to become her husband.
- Titus mentions that he said the proper words of marriage to her and gave her a ring—even asked if she consented to be his wife. (Too bad for her if she neglected to ask who he was).
- The message is clear: just get over it, people.
- Here's an interesting twist: if they don't let it slide, he'll take Gisippus to Rome with him instead. Then he'll come back for Sophronia.
- When Titus finishes, he takes Gisippus by the hand and storms out of the temple.
- The Athenians fall in line and give Sophronia back to Titus. They go off to Rome and Gisippus stays in Athens.
- But the fortunes of war drag down Gisippus and his family, who have to leave Athens and become beggars.
- Gisippus goes to Rome in the hopes that Titus will remember and save him.
- By this time, Titus is an important man and Gisippus is afraid to ask him for anything. Titus passes him by and Gisippus assumes that he's been snubbed.
- So he literally crawls off to a cave to die. But robbers come into the cave to count their money.
- They argue over their ill-gotten gains and one of them kills the other. Gisippus sees a way to die without committing suicide.
- Gisippus is quickly questioned and sentenced to death by execution for killing the robber.
- But at that moment, Titus happens to show up at court and recognizes Gisippus despite his wretched appearance.
- Titus is shocked to see what's happened to his good friend.
- He claims that he—not Gisippus—is the murderer.
- Gisippus insists it was him; he doesn't want his friend to die on his account just to pay him back for the favor of Sophronia.
- Each man tries to convince the praetor that he's the real villain, but the praetor isn't biting.
- And then out of the blue, amazed by the actions of the two men, the real murderer steps forward and confesses.
- Octavianus (the future Caesar Augustus) summons the men to find out what the heck is going on.
- In the end, he releases all three of them (the murderer for the sake of the two men).
- So Titus shares his wealth and house with Gisippus, but not his wife.
- For that, he gives his sister Fulvia in marriage to Gisippus.
- Gisippus decides to stay in Rome because, hey, he's already been exiled from Athens.
- They all live happily together under one roof.
- Filomena ends with a panegyric on friendship, extolling it as a blessing even better than, well, anything.