Monna Belcolore
Intro
- Storyteller: Panfilo
- Panfilo wants to get back at priests with his story because there's really no other way to retaliate against them.
- His message: Don't believe everything a priest tells you.
Story
- This particular priest is a bit...unpriestly. He "serves" ladies and has little book learning.
- And he has a thing for a village woman named Monna Belcolore (or "Mistress FineColors"), who is, do we even have to say it, a married woman.
- He learns that Belcolore's husband will be out of town for a bit and thinks he should seize the opportunity to get what he wants.
- Belcolore thinks he's nuts: priests don't do that!
- The priest assures him that they do, and really well, too. But Belcolore isn't sure. She wants something in return.
- She needs five pounds to get her best clothes out of the pawn shop. Otherwise, she has nothing to wear to church.
- Okay, says the priest, but he doesn't have a fiver on him at the mo. He's good for it, though.
- Belcolore's heard that one before. She wants some collateral.
- The priest offers his cloak, and promises that he'll send her the money right away.
- So the priest has his way with Belcolore in the barn and he leaves the cloak with her.
- But regret sets in. He doesn't have five pounds. And he really did like that cloak.
- He works out a good scheme to get his cloak back. Part 1: send a child to Belcolore to borrow her mortar and pestle.
- Part 2: send child back with mortar and pestle when the husband is there and have him demand the cloak back as though it had been collateral for the kitchen equipment.
- Belcolore has to play along. Score one for the priest.
- Belcolore sends a message to him: no more grinding in my mortar with your pestle. Ouch.
- The priest thinks this is pretty funny and brings Belcolore around by threatening hellfire.
- He also appeases her by "putting a new skin on her tambourine" and attaching a new little bell to it. Double entendre? We like to think so.