A Jealous Husband, His Wife and Her Lover
Intro
- Storyteller: Fiammetta
- Fiammetta tells us that jealous husbands deserve every bit of suffering they get, especially ones who are jealous for no reason.
- She goes one step further: anything a woman does against a jealous husband should be seen as self-defense in the eyes of the law, since in reality, the jealous man is simply out to get his wife.
- Fiammetta explains that the poor wife of a jealous man doesn't even get to have a little fun on the Sabbath like everybody else. Instead, she's kept locked away in the house.
- She sounds like she knows quite a bit about this situation first-hand and sums up by saying that such an abused woman should be allowed to do whatever's necessary.
Story
- In Rimini, there was a man who was so jealous of his wife that he didn't even allow her to stand at the window or look out the door.
- Although she'd done nothing to provoke jealousy, she now decided to give him a good reason for jealousy.
- But it's not like she could go to a bar and pick up a guy, so she has to look a little closer to home.
- She knows that there's a handsome young man, Filippo, who lives next door. She sets out to find a little crack in the walls between their houses so she can talk to him.
- Pretty soon, she finds a crack conveniently leading to Filippo's bedroom.
- They manage to carry on pretty nicely for some time, but all they can do is touch hands through the opening in the wall.
- At Christmas, the wife asks her husband's permission to go to the local church to confess her sins, like every other Christian.
- He immediately becomes suspicious: what sins could she have? He only allows her to go to their little chapel and then she has to come straight back home, so what trouble could she possibly get into?
- The wife realizes that this is a trap, but she's going to work it into her plans.
- Her husband gets to the chapel before her and convinces the chaplain to let him play priest for a morning.
- When she arrives, the usual chaplain sends in her disguised husband to hear her confession.
- She pretends not to recognize him and then hits him with his worst nightmare. She tells him she's in love with a priest who sleeps with her every night.
- This priest, she claims, has magical powers to open all the locks in the house and cast a sleeping spell on her husband.
- Her disguised husband is appalled and tells her she must stop having sex with this priest.
- The wife objects: she loves him too much!
- The "priest" tells her that her soul will be lost if she doesn't desist. He'll send her someone to give her spiritual guidance and pray for her.
- She protests that her husband is wicked jealous and would suspect something if he did so, but the "priest" promises to be discreet.
- The jealous husband is now fit to be tied. He decides to wait at the front door all night if he has to in order to catch this sneaky priest.
- Of course, this gives his wife the opening she's been looking for. She tells Filippo the whole story and says they can now spend the night together if he comes in through the window.
- In the morning, the jealous husband feels awful from staying up all night.
- He sends a servant dressed up like a confessor to his wife. She tells him that the priest lover didn't show up last night and that she'll forget about him if this keeps up.
- The husband feels triumphant and determined to keep watch until his wife forgets about her lover.
- This, of course, leads to many nights of fun for his wife and Filippo.
- When the husband can't take it anymore, he blows up and reveals his deception to his wife.
- She calls him on his stupidity and tells him that she always knew he was the priest who confessed her on Christmas day.
- Didn't she say she was in love with a priest (which he was pretending to be)? Didn't she say that all doors opened to him and that she slept with him every night (both true for him)? And when he was keeping watch at the door, didn't she tell the "confessor" that the priest hadn't been with her?
- Busted.
- The husband feels like a complete ass and decides that his wife is both wise and virtuous, but it's too late.
- Now that she's given free rein, she lets Filippo in through the front door so that they can spend more time together.