Pregnant Calandrino
Intro
- Storyteller: Filostrato
- Filostrato is going to tell yet another Calandrino tale because, hey, they're always good for a laugh. This one's a hoot.
Story
- Calandrino comes into an inheritance of 200 pounds after the death of his aunt. He decides to buy a farm with it.
- But his "friends" Bruno, Buffalmacco and Nello have other ideas: they want a good supper out of it, at least.
- First, they psych Calandrino into believing that there is something seriously wrong with him.
- They advise him to send a urine sample off to Master Simone so that he can diagnose Calandrino properly.
- Then they run ahead and inform Master Simone of the plan. He's all for it if it gets him a good dinner.
- So Master Simone pretends to test the urine and then visits with Calandrino, who has taken to his bed in fear for his health.
- The doctor tells him not to worry. There's nothing much wrong—he's just pregnant!
- Calandrino howls: he knew he shouldn't have let his wife get on top the last time they were together! He knew this would happen!
- Monna Tessa, Calandrino's wife, turns scarlet and leaves the room. Calandrino's on his own with this one.
- He whines about his predicament and wonders how he'll ever get the baby out of his body.
- Women, he says, have so much pain when they give birth and they actually have to space to do it.
- Master Simone calms him down and says that he can make a drug to cause a miscarriage. But it's certainly going to cost him.
- Calandrino winds up having to buy three fat birds and lots of other delicacies so that the doctor can concoct his potion.
- He takes his "medicine" over three days and is freed of his condition.
- So Bruno, Buffalmacco, Nello and Master Simone get the luxurious dinner they were craving and Calandrino sings the praises of a doctor who helped him to have a painless miscarriage.