Dom Felice and Friar Puccio
Intro
- Storyteller: Panfilo
- Panfilo's feeling pretty naughty at this point. Sometimes, he says, you send someone to heaven while you're trying to get there yourself.
- This story is the perfect example of a man who did just that, and the lucky wife that reaped the rewards.
Story
- There once was a guy named Puccio, who was part of the Franciscan order. He took the title "Friar" even though he didn't live in a cloister.
- In fact, he was married to the young and beautiful Monna Isabetta.
- She wasn't too happy about Friar Puccio's ideas about sexual abstinence.
- Whenever she felt "playful," Puccio would talk about Jesus or "sermonize" her.
- This got old quick. Isabetta required someone else to take over Puccio's duties.
- Enter Dom Felice, who is, ironically, actually a monk attached to the local church.
- Friar Puccio works hard to be friends with him because Dom Felice appears to be saintly.
- Felice decides to help Puccio out by pleasing Isabetta.
- Of course, she takes him up on his advances, with one stipulation: she'll only do it in her own house.
- This is difficult, because Puccio never leaves unless it's to go to church.
- So Felice decides to make his own luck by fooling Puccio. He's going to share with him a sure fire recipe for saintliness.
- He convinces Puccio that he'll go to heaven if he follows his simple plan.
- Here it is: Puccio has to confess his sins and fast for 40 days (from both food and sex).
- Puccio also has to find a place in the house where he can gaze up at the heavens at night and contemplate Jesus' crucifixion.
- While he's doing this, he has to say 600 prayers (Our Father and Hail Mary).
- And BTW, he has to do all of this while assuming the position of Christ on the cross.
- In the morning, he's allowed to rest, but then he has to attend 3 masses at the church.
- Puccio's thrilled.
- So is his wife.
- Because while he's doing all this penance, his wife's in the room next door tasting a little bit of heaven herself.
- One night, however, Dom Felice gets a little too...frisky. Puccio hears the ruckus and calls out to his wife.
- Isabetta's prepared with a good answer: she's been fasting too, and it makes her restless at night.
- After that close call, Isabetta and Felice make up a bed in another part of the house and continue their play.
- Here's the pun: Isabetta quips that Puccio is doing penance, but that they (Felice and Isabetta) are the ones in Paradise.
- But all good things must come to an end. The 40 days go by. Of course, Felice and Isabetta figure out more ways to continue their pleasures.