- We meet Dan Grant, Jason's "ordinary friend." They play ping-pong. Dan is better, but Jason always wins because he creates a psychological advantage. The first few times he hits the ball, he smacks it right at Dan's face. This makes Dan jumpy.
- Dan is a PK—a Preacher's Kid—but Jason tells him about his and Shin's new religion. Dan asks if it's a cult, and Jason assures him that it is "'better than a cult,'" because "'you don't have to dress weird or anything'" (5.28), and asks him to be First Acolyte Exaltus. We also learn that Jason's title is Founder and Head Kahuna, and Shin is First Keeper of the Sacred Text (5.30).
- Jason and Dan head to the water tower to ask why the Ten-legged One has so many legs. Shin is there, lying in the grass with his mouth open, trying to catch a drop of Holy Water. Jason explains this is one of their sacraments, and lists others: Giving Thanks to the Tower, Sacred washing of the Hands, and Flushing of the Toilet. Dan suggests Daily Immersion.
- "My dad would totally freak. Count me in, Kahuna," Dan says.
- Just then Shin gets hit with a loogie from Henry Stagg, who is one hundred and twenty feet above them on the tower's lower catwalk.