How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #7
She couldn't have him, and there was no mistaking it. She could never be his wife. She could not steal herself back from Randa only to give herself away again—belong to another person, be answerable to another person, build her very being around another person. No matter how she loved him. (19.58)
Oh boy. You know, sometimes love just ain't enough. Or maybe it is. What do you think about Katsa's logic here? To love someone else, whether you end up marrying that person or not, does require you to give up a certain amount of freedom. Because being in a loving relationship with someone—and this applies whether that person is a family member, a friend, or a romantic partner—demands compromise on the part of both parties.
Is it just the compromises demanded by marriage that would be too much for Katsa? Or does her level of independence preclude her from forming strong friendships as well?
Of course, it's a testament to Katsa's culture and her upbringing that she sees no other option but to leave Po. And it's a testament to Po's culture and his upbringing that he does.
Quote #8
"You know I'd never expect you to change who you are, if you were my wife," he finally said.
"It would change me to be your wife," she said.
He watched her eyes."Yes. I understand you." (19.62-64)
This is a really interesting quote because it begs the question: how? Po understands what Katsa means here. In fact, the way he watches her eyes before replying, "Yes, I understand you," it almost seems like he reads something in her thoughts that makes the point clearer to him.
So what do you think it is that Po gets from Katsa's thoughts and feelings on the subject? How would the simple act of marriage, of her becoming his wife, change her? And do you agree that becoming someone's wife—or husband—does, by necessity, cause a change in a person? Explain.
Quote #9
If she took Po as a husband, she would be making promises about a future she couldn't yet see. For once she became his wife, she would be his wife forever. And no matter how much freedom Po gave her, she would always know it was a gift. Her freedom wouldn't be her own; it would be Po's to give or withhold. That he would never withhold it made no difference. If it did not come from her, it wasn't hers. (20.26)
This is Katsa's explanation of how becoming Po's wife in name would change things for her, and it seems like she has a pretty good case. Because of her culture's approach to marriage and the fact that a woman essentially becomes subservient to a man once they tie the knot, yeah, we get it. Her freedom wouldn't be hers, no matter how unrestrictive Po was.
And of course, this still holds true in some cultures today, but what about yours? Do you think women or men compromise their freedom when they choose to marry? Is marriage, at its most basic, a restrictive institution? Why or why not?