If Only Chapter 20 Summary

Trapped

  • Corinna gets her school pictures back, and they're awful. She goes to her friend Eliana's house to hang out that afternoon, and they commiserate about bad pictures.
  • Corinna looks at the photos in Eliana's scrapbooks. She finds pictures of Juliette's recent mother-daughter tea party, which all her friends attended but didn't tell her about.
  • She emails Aunt Jennifer to ask if she should confront them. Aunt Jennifer writes back and says that's a tough one; she suggests Corinna think about what she'd do if she were in their shoes.
  • It's not a clear answer, but it helps Corinna think about the problem differently.
  • A week before winter break, Miss Beatty asks Corinna to have lunch with her in her classroom.
  • Corinna does, and they talk about their mothers. Miss Beatty's mom died, too, and they both cry, despite Corinna's no-crying-at-school rule.
  • Corinna tells Miss Beatty that she sometimes worries that other people think her mom did something bad, something that made her deserve to die. Miss Beatty tells her that if anyone thinks that, they're mean.
  • The next day, Corinna and Joci go to Bruce's Variety after school—it's a craft store Corinna used to go to with her mom.
  • When they get there, she has a flashback. It's a combination of nostalgia and grief, and she has to run from the store.
  • Two days before vacation, Corinna's math teacher gives her a note from Ms. DuBoise. The grief group is starting up. It will be weird to talk about her mom at school, but Corinna seriously needs it.
  • At home, Corinna goes through some of the catalogs that are always coming to Sophie in the mail. She really needs clothes. All of hers are getting too small.