Obviously, if you're dying of cancer, you're suffering—we don't have to explain that one to you—but in If Only, Sophie's suffering has an end, while Corinna's doesn't. Sure, things will get easier over time, but Corinna will always miss her mom, and witnessing her dad's suffering compounds her own. He used to play practical jokes and cheer her on at soccer games, but now he's just going through the motions of daily life.
For the first year after Sophie's death, the remaining Burdettes are just kind of knocking around the house, trying to figure out how you survive with a huge hole in their family and their hearts. In a year marked by loss, their lives are filled with suffering.
Questions About Suffering
- Who suffers more—the person who dies, or the person who watches her die? Does it depend on the cause of death? In this book, is it different for Corinna versus her dad?
- Does having to be a parent during his grief increase or decrease Corinna's dad's suffering? How can you tell?
- What's the most helpful thing you can say to someone who's suffering after the death of a parent? What's the most helpful thing someone says to Corinna?
Chew on This
This book lets us know that no matter how much you recover, you never fully get over grief. It gets easier, but it never gets easy.
Corinna and her dad suffer way more than Sophie. Sophie was sick for a few months, but Corinna and her dad will have to navigate their grief for the rest of the lives.