If Only Chapter 22 Summary

Holiday Blues

  • Quick: What's more depressing than the first Christmas after your mom dies?
  • That's right: nothing.
  • Corinna and her dad eat frozen dinners and watch movies, and she has an awkward conversation with her maternal grandparents, Grandma and Bapa, who say they've sent a box of gifts.
  • The next morning, Corinna's dad goes to the post office to pick up said box of gifts, which gives Corinna a few minutes to indulge in snooping in her mom's closet.
  • She finds a duffel bag she's never seen before, and in the bottom of it is a journal. She doesn't have time to read it, though, because she hears her dad's car pull into the driveway.
  • They go for a swim at the Y. Corinna can't stop thinking about the journal.
  • When they get home, their nosy neighbor Mrs. Simmons comes by with a plate of cookies and starts asking nosy questions about when they're going to get rid of Sophie's clothes.
  • Corinna finally yells at her that they'll do it when they're ready. You go, girl.
  • After Mrs. Simmons leaves, Corinna needs a long walk to dispel her anger. She walks through the neighborhood looking at all the cozy houses full of people doing happy Christmas stuff.
  • She wonders if people feel sorry for her, feel lucky not to be her, or both.