If Only Chapter 54 Summary

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  • Corinna comes home from Japan and has letters from Clare and Joci, who are at camp.
  • There's also one from Aunt Jennifer, who says Corinna's dad told her that Corinna knows about the sperm-donor thing. Jennifer knows she's mad at Grandma and Bapa for not telling her.
  • It's never been easy for their family to talk about hard things, Jennifer says, but Grandma and Bapa love Corinna a lot and want to stay close to her.
  • Corinna's a little paranoid about who knows what—did her dad or Aunt Jennifer tell Grandma and Bapa she knew? She's also happy to have gotten the letter, though.
  • She wonders what Sophie would say about it all. She imagines Sophie would probably tell her to forgive Grandma, Bapa, and her; she would also probably say how much she loves Corinna.
  • Corinna wonders what ninth grade will be like, and if she'll kiss Alex again.
  • On the day before school starts, her dad goes out to buy food (you go, Dad) and Corinna decides to light some incense, like people do for their ancestors in Japan.
  • She goes to the ginger jar holding Sophie's ashes and claps. She tells Sophie how much she loved Japan, and that she's worried that cancer runs in her biological grandfather's family, and that she misses her.
  • The phone rings and interrupts her, but she returns to her conversation with Sophie later in the afternoon.
  • This time she talks about how scared she is of ninth grade, though she's sure it won't be as bad as eighth—nothing can be as hard as the first year after your mom's death.
  • On the first day of school, she sees Joci outside and walks into the building with her.
  • Corinna thinks she and her dad are going to be okay.