Vera Dietz

Character Analysis

Vera Dietz is a tough cookie. As the titular character of the book, she's dealing with quite a lot—her best friend in the whole wide world has just died, but instead of being straight-up sad, she doesn't know how to feel about it.

Alone in the World

Vera is kind of a loner, and before Charlie ditched her she mostly just hung out with him. So in high school, while Charlie starts hanging out with new friends, Vera hangs back; she doesn't want to get too close to anyone else. Check it out:

"I don't see you much anymore. You liking school?" he asked. 

"Yeah. Still invisible," I said. "Which is cool." (3.7.23-24)

But she doesn't mind as long as she has Charlie by her side. When Charlie ditches her for his new friends, though, Vera is basically alone in the world. She doesn't have a mom anymore, and now she doesn't even have a best friend to help her through the day. Things get pretty lonely for her and high school is a total drag.

Turning it Inward

In addition to being alone a lot of the time, Vera also turns her feelings inward a lot of the time, particularly when it comes to her mother leaving or Charlie's death. She tries to push all of her feelings down instead of talking about them or letting them out. Even her dad notices this. He observes:

I see Vera doing this now. She hasn't said a word to me about Charlie, even though only a year ago, she was clearly in love with him. (5.3.35)

Because Vera is always internalizing things, though, she ends up relying on pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with her grief and pain. This is how she finds herself drinking every day in order to numb her feelings. She tells us:

I had no idea how much it would hurt my throat, but loved the way it made me feel a minute later as I sat on the toilet, pondering the tiled floor. Warm. Happy. Safe. (2.1.26)

With her dad's help, Vera has to learn how to open up about her feelings and the things that have happened to her. Because while alcohol may help her hide for a little while, once she learns how to share her pain with someone else, she no longer has to shoulder her burdens alone.

Taking on Adult Problems

Part of the reason that Vera's so serious and doesn't exactly get along with most of her peers is that she has to deal with some really adult problems. Other kids may be concerned with prom dates and going out on a Friday night, but Vera's got heavy things on her mind. Her mom left their family and her best friend died after being framed for a crime by his crazy ex-girlfriend. On top of that, Vera is trying to finish high school and work a full-time job at the same time. No, really:

I turned eighteen in October and I went from pizza maker to pizza deliverer. I also went from twenty hours a week to forty, on top of my schoolwork. (1.2.1)

Those kinds of pressures don't leave a lot of room for her to be a carefree kid. Instead, Vera is always stressed out and brooding. It's not until she clears Charlie's name at the end (her main responsibility throughout the novel) that Vera finally lets loose a little bit, heading out on an impromptu road trip with her dad:

Once I pull out of the parking lot and head down the main strip, he says, "We're going home now, right?" 

This makes me laugh. Like—maniacal laughing. 

He says, "We aren't?" 

I put on my shades and smile. "I told you that we were about to live a little, didn't I?" (5.13.64-67)

Vera and her old man are finally—and we do mean finally—able to have a normal family outing and live their lives. Vera's made peace with her mom and Charlie, in addition to learning to open up to her dad, and now she's ready to have—and share—some fun. Yay.