How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #10
I truly must have lost my mind or at least control of it, for I have just tried to pray. I wanted to ask God to help me but I could utter only words, dark, useless words which fell on the floor beside me and rolled off into the corners and underneath the bed. I tried, I really tried to remember what I should say after, "Now I lay me down to sleep…," but they are only words, useless, artificial, heavy words which have no meaning and no powers. (256.2)
This is part of a bad trip that catches Alice by surprise, and it's actually pretty sad. She wants to find comfort in prayer and even that betrays her.
Quote #11
It's 2 A.M. and I've just had the sweetest feeling I've ever had in my life. I tried to pray again. Actually I was just trying to thank God for getting me out of there and bringing me home but then I started to think about Jan and Marcie and for the first time I really wanted God to help them too. […] Oh, please God, I hope they do get well. Please help them and help me too. (269.2)
Alice has really come full circle, hasn't she? Can you imagine her praying for Jan or Marcie in the beginning of the diary? She'd probably be spite-praying, like "Dear God. I hope Jan and Marcie come down with an awful case of herpes. Amen."
This is a sweet ending to our story, and we wish our cold, unfeeling hearts could forget that it's a calculated move on the authors' behalf. Alice had to undergo a sense of redemption before her tragic demise in order to really hammer the lesson home.