Of What Happens When I Bowl a Perfect Strike and Learn Not to Hurt My Happiness
- The people who picked Cam and Gonzo up take them to a giant sparkly and expensive-looking compound called the Church of Everlasting Satisfaction and Snack 'N' Bowl, inside of which are a ton of stores that sell only CESSNAB merchandise.
- They offer the boys smoothies, and after they all pick their flavors, it turns out they only make vanilla smoothies. Okay… They explain that it helps cut down on things like dissatisfaction or envy, but to us, that just sounds awful.
- The whole idea of the compound is to make sure everyone is gratified and happy all the time. We're talking no negative feelings ever.
- In fact, when someone starts feeling sad they send in a SWAT team to try and get the person happy stat.
- If the Happiness SWAT team doesn't work, their solution is to go bowling.
- According to CESSNAB, if you "embrace the positive" you can bowl a perfect game and be happy as the day is long.
- This is pretty contagious thinking for Cam, who is sick and tired of dealing with death and Dr. X and the end of the world. Gonzo, on the other hand, has the "Uh-oh" feeling.
- There's this guy, Thomas, who they try to cheer up, but nothing works so the happy commandos actually come and wrap him in a blanket like a burrito and take him away.
- The CESSNAB folks convince Cam that he'll be safe at the compound, and also that if he really wants to, he can cure himself by using positive thoughts. He elects to stay with them for a while.