Which Treats of the Particulars of High School Hallway Etiquette and the fact that Staci Johnson Is Evil; Also, Unfairly Hot
- Cam is just hoping he can maintain his mellow high long enough to escape school unscathed. He has to traverse the hallway his locker is in, though, which is known as "Park Avenue" because it's where all the cool kids linger and plot world domination. He aims for invisibility.
- His sister Jenna, however, is one of them—she's pretty, popular, and a cheerleader for the football team, the Calhoun Conquistadors of Hidalgo, Texas. (How many Don Quixote references can you find in that name?)
- Jenna is standing with Chet and Staci Johnson, certified hottie and Cam's unfortunate choice of crush. They torture each other for a bit with some witty repartee, and discuss possible Spring Break plans. The cool kids all want to go to the YA! TV Party House, hosted by Parker Day (think of this as an MTV Beach Party, hosted by Carson Daly… back when he was cool… and MTV was MTV).