How we cite our quotes: (Record.Paragraph)
Quote #7
It seemed as though it would splash over me and that from a man, from the finest and most precise mechanism which I am, I would be transformed into… (16.3)
Notice that this passage is a little scary. D-503 is never entirely sure about this transition, and as much as he loves being an individual, part of it scares the holy wee-wee out of him.
Quote #8
Imagine this: a human finger, cut off from the whole, from the hand—a separate human finger, stooping, bent down, skipping, running along a glass sidewalk. This finger is me. And the strangest, most unnatural thing of all is that the finger doesn't want to be on the hand, with the others, at all. (18.13)
Again, we're back to the horror imagery with fingers crawling around without a hand. There's something scary about such a deep change to yourself, even if it's just to something most of us modern-day folk would consider "normal."
Quote #9
So here I am, in step with everyone now, and yet I'm still separate from everyone. I am still trembling all over from the agitation I endured, like a bridge after an ancient train has rumbled over it. I am aware of myself. And, of course, the only things that are aware of themselves and conscious of their individuality are irritated eyes, cut fingers, sore teeth. A healthy eye, finger, tooth might as well not even be there. Isn't it clear that individual consciousness is just sickness? (22.18)
So yeah, even when he's free and clear of the State, he still looks at himself as a "sickness." In some ways, he can never banish the State from his identity, just as he can never entirely banish the individual.